I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
