Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
