you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Houston, we have a blender
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
