Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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