Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
The best revenge is premature balding
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Randomize
