all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
