No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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