Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
