yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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