But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
