So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
