If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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