you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize