Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
