Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
