omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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