Kiss
Puke
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
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