I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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