Are we in a gay sports bar?
there's paper in my vomit.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
