those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
