great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
