i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
