i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
