My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize