I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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