i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
