belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
