His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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