What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Still dying that you shit outside
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
