are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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