she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize