You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
