Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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