I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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