watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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