i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
