So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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