If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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