dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Randomize
