honey bunches of taint.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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