I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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