aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
