kristin has been a bad kristin
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
