ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Randomize
