On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
