rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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