as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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