she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
