Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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