I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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