high people should be assigned attendants
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
