I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
