Well douche your snatch and let's go!
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I need moral support for this bender
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
