Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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