it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
