how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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