I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
