why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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