just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
