Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
