im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
