He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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